


reïncarnatie is perfect als het betekent dat ik jou weer zie

by Margri3t



Category: Attack on Titan, snk - Fandom
Genre: Angst, M/M, Modern AU, Reincarnation, armin has a girlfriend, depictions of suicide, i promise it's not as bad as the tags make it seem, techer!Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 21:21:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12713205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Margri3t/pseuds/Margri3t
Summary: Levi hated the memories and what they did to him, ten years and he hadn't seen Eren at all. He was starting to give up.





	reïncarnatie is perfect als het betekent dat ik jou weer zie

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to me trying to revive some of my old fic! I'm sorry I kinda abandoned that...but this is basically a one shot I made off a scene I hadn't posted yet. I like this so much I might make a sequel...but we'll see~  
> Tumblr is margri3t

Levi didn't like the mist, he also didn't like the fact they were on an expedition in said mist. He didn't like the strange recent events, and he especially didn't like the fact he had to leave Eren alone with Jean. You never knew what could happen in the mist, he didn't even know why Squad Leader Hanji had sent for him and Mikasa. This seemed like a bad day in general, and Levi had the sense it was only going to get worse….

They had been traveling back to HQ through the forest of the giant trees when a messenger came up to Levi's squad and repeated Hanji's message:

“Captain! Squad Leader Hanji wants to see you and Mikasa immediately!” The soldier shouted over the galloping of the horses.

Levi held in a sigh. This must have been important, even Hanji knew better than to do this in the middle of a mission. “Thank you for your message soldier. Return to your squad.” The soldier nodded and turned away from Levi's squad, disappearing into the mist. “Mikasa and I will switch to 3DM gear to get there faster, Eren you're in charge so you and Jean need to mind the horses!” Because of Sasha and Connie's recent injuries it was only the four of them in the squad. Levi didn't like having such a small number of people.

“Yes sir!” They all replied in unison.

With that Levi and Mikasa switched to 3DM gear heading as fast as possible towards Hanji's squad. Levi wondered if Eren was safe, remembering the night with the note. He knew if anyone was in danger it was Levi himself, but Levi knew that when he was in danger, Eren was as well. Eren didn't deserve to die.

Levi remembered their nights together, filled with caresses and touches way more intimate than Levi had ever had before. The feel of Eren's lips on his skin. The lovemarks they had left on each other last night. The way Eren broke Levi in the most perfect way. How could one man be so amazing? He definitely did not deserve to be harmed because of Levi.

Before they could even reach Hanji Levi's thoughts were disturbed by the sound of a flare. Two flares. But where were the flares, even in the mist Levi should be able to see them right? They didn't really sound exactly like sound flares either, if Levi thought about it they sounded a lot more like…

Levi stopped in his tracks.

Gunshots.

Mikasa looked at him questioningly when Levi turned around but didn't complain. She must have thought they were sound flares. Levi was trying to catch up with his own mind as he flew through the trees. He knew they were gunshots. All that time in the underground had enabled him to differentiate between gunshots and flares. He had to tell Mikasa so she'd be prepared for the sight they would most likely see.

Levi swallowed. “Whatever you're thinking, those weren't sound flares….” Levi couldn't get the next words out. Mikasa looked at him raising an eyebrow as they maneuvered past a tree. Levi sighed. “They were gunshots.” As he saw the look on Mikasa's face he lost his words. Terror. He felt exactly the same, keeping it together was the most he could do now. Stay sane for Eren, pray it wasn't him or Jean. Get back as fast as possible. Don't cry. Don't cry. Breathe. Everything was overwhelming. Not him, anyone but him. Levi realised this was his own fault. He had made his own decision to risk being intimate with Eren. He needed it. After five years of pining he had given in and kissed him. Levi couldn't bring himself to regret that decision, and he had no idea why.

In the mist it was hard to see anything, but Levi kept a close lookout. Eventually they saw horses. Four of them. All four were tied to a tree, there was a dead Titan and a figure crouched over another. Levi and Mikasa quickly landed on the ground and ran over to the two figures.

“Jean?” As they got closer they could see the face of their fellow squad member. He had his hand clutched onto his left arm and looked to be in pain. That meant that the other person was…

“Eren?” Mikasa asked as she ran over to kneel next to Jean. Eren was barely conscious. His lower half completely wrecked.

“What happened Jean?” Levi said as he walked over to them.

Jean’s words were strained. Half with tears and half with pain. “Someone...with blue eyes…that was all I could see, shot Eren in the leg. I tried...to save him, but the same person shot me in the arm...and then a titan came and...picked up Eren and I managed to kill it, but not before this happened.” Jean pointed at Eren’s lower half with his good arm.

Even with Titan powers Eren wasn't going to make it. Levi walked over and took his place next to Mikasa. He wanted to break down. He wanted to scream. First he had to give some orders.

Levi swallowed.

“Mikasa, take Jean and go find Commander Armin. Tell him that two bodies are going to need collecting. Also tell him not to give us a fucking hero worship funeral, neither of us would appreciate that. Thank you for serving me, I'm sorry that you're going to have to see me in this state, but quite frankly without Eren we don't have a chance, especially me.” Levi tensed, he knew that this decision wasn't sane. But all he’d fought for, everyone who had died, had been for a hope that the Titans would eventually be gone. That they would have freedom. Most people could be replaced. But Eren? Even if they hadn't been in a relationship, Levi would still be a wreck. It seems this was his breaking point.

Eren had made Levi's empty life bearable, given him hope, and without him there was nothing.

“Sir? Are you really doing this? I never thought that you'd be so stupid, we need you.” Jean was speaking through gritted teeth.

“Of course I'm fucking doing this Jean! Eren was our only hope. He was my lover too. Do you think that after losing someone as close to me as Eren, I would still be of use?.... I suggest you leave now, I need to talk to Eren before he dies.”

Jean opened his mouth to protest but was quickly pulled along by Mikasa. They were definitely angry. Levi could see why, he was taking the easy way out. One of the most dishonourable ways to die was suicide. But he was doing this, he didn't give a shit anymore. He would die a dishonourable death if it meant it was one with Eren.

And with that they left and Levi was alone with Eren. Levi finally broke down. He sobbed as he picked Eren up in his arms, sobs slowly turning to shouts, shouts slowly turning to screams. He didn't know what he was saying, he only noticed he had shoved a few ‘I love you’s in there. Eren's bright eyes were staring straight into his soul. Levi’s throat became hoarse, his screams so loud his throat must have split in two. He didn’t care about the blood.

“I will find you again Levi.” he spoke. So softly he could barely hear him - but he knew what he meant. He watched as the light left his eyes. Eren’s face blurred by Levi’s tears. Levi grabbed his blade. He was the last person Levi could lose, the thought of a life without Eren was unbearable. How could they even win the war without him?

That was all Levi wanted…

And now he couldn’t have it.

Thrusting the blade into his own stomach, Levi kissed Eren one last time and ran his finger over the ring on Eren's hand. He could feel the life slipping out of his lover. The kiss tasted of blood and salt, but it was real. That was the best Levi could hope for.

~~~  
2000 years later and with a new mundane life but still all of the memories of my old one, I could do nothing but sulk. I had spent the last 10 years of my life looking for Eren since age 16. A man that only existed in my memories but I hoped was real. If Eren wasn't real then I was just an insane man. This was my fifth consecutive night at the Survey corps coffee shop, it faced the small park where Eren's childhood home lay 2000 years ago. Now all that was left was some grass and a statue in memoriam of all who died recapturing the wall.

I owned a small apartment in the busy city of Shiganshina 10 minutes away from my work at the local high school, where I taught history. This could sometimes be bothersome as I knew that some things in the textbooks were factually incorrect. However I could not share my thoughts on the matter due to the fact that people would assume I was crazy.

I didn't know why I was still at this shop, the tea was disgusting and I’d basically given up on finding Eren. In fact I was almost starting to think that the memories were fake, if it wasn't for the fact they felt so real. This was also including the abdominal scar I had carried since birth.

It was bittersweet that I had killed myself because I didn't want to live in a world without Eren and here I was, living in a world without Eren. If you could even call it living. I would have killed myself again if it weren't for my mother, who always called me on Sunday mornings to talk about my week as we both drank tea at our homes.

Summer holidays were always a bore, I could do nothing other that wallow in my own sadness. It was fitting that the coffee shop was called “Survey Corps” as the tea tasted like a corpse.

So here I was, drinking shit tea, sulking, when I overheard a conversation.

“Hey look a History Seminar! We should go!”

“I'm not taking you to another seminar just so you can argue about what's ‘factually correct’ with the speaker. Even if you're correct, doesn't mean you don't look crazy.”

I turned my head at that, who else but someone who was reincarnated would go to seminars just to argue. I knew myself how frustrating it was to see your own life told to other people incorrectly.

Lo and behold, in front of the notice board stood two men. One blond and one brunette. It could just be coincidence, or it could be the blond mushroom and my past husband to-be. The only to find out was to take the leap…

I walked up to them with my classic resting bitch face just in case and tapped “Eren” on the shoulder. “Excuse me, but other people would like to see the notices too.”

“Oh I’m sorry am I too tall for your shor-”.

Now I’m not one to use memes, but when the man turned his head, all I could think was “Eren.exe has stopped working.”

I was in a similar state until I heard Armin try to poke Eren out of his daze with his elbow.

“Eren, Eren, hey, Eren, Ereeeeen! Hellooooo?” Eren finally blinked. And it took less than a millisecond after that for him to have his arms wrapped around me in a bear hug with a moisture I guessed was tears running down my shoulder.

“I never thought I'd see you again.” Eren's voice was small, lacking the mirth that usually filled the room with smiles. Instead it echoed past memories.

“Me neither, ten years of looking...I was about to give up.” I nuzzled into Eren's shoulder before pulling away and pecking him on the lips.

“I'm glad you didn't.” Eren said before returning the peck and making it deeper.

“Erm..I'm going to go...get..coffee...have fun!” Armin quickly vacated the premises. I felt Eren's grin more than saw it.

“I've lived in shiganshina all my life, how have I never seen you?!” I was genuinely concerned that I’d been searching far and wide only to have Eren be right under my nose.

“Armin and I’ve been traveling, it's been a few weeks since we returned to shiganshina to live here. We've basically seen the world now. Armins going to live with his girlfriend but I'm still not sure about what I'm going to do. I guess it's exactly the right timing to have found you!”

As Eren spoke I took his hand in mine running my fingers over it like a fragile object at a museum. I couldn't help but notice something. A tan line wrapped around Eren's ring finger. Faint, but still visible.

“What's this?” I asked running my finger over the lightened skin.

Eren swallowed before he spoke, the lightheartedness of his voice disappearing.

“I've had it all my life.” When Eren said this I thought of the scar on my abdomen. Was this similar? The only thing I can recall happening to that finger was the engagement ring.

“Oh my god.”

“My mother told me that she had the same, dad too. Because of their wedding rings in a past life. Speaking of my mother, I was going to go meet her when I bumped into you, the thing is she knows about you. Said that if I ever found you she wants to be the first to meet you. I'm rambling now but basically if you're not busy, care to come visit my mum with me?”

It was a lot of information to take in at once, but once I realised he was waiting for an answer I nodded. I wouldn't have much to do until August time and didn't make plans often. I had never gotten the chance to meet Eren's mom last lifetime, he had told me many stories of her kindness.

The statement Eren had made before I got distracted by his hand caught up to me. “Also, about the finding a place to live...you're welcome to move in with me if you're comfortable. I'm not sure if it’s close to where you work but it's an option.” Honest to god I was internally screaming at the fact I would possibly be able to live with him again.

Eren's eyes lit up. “Really?!? Thank you!” I was engulfed in a tight hug before He pulled me towards the exit. “My mum only lives a few minutes away. She's not expecting you but she always makes too much food. So I'm sure she'll be fine with it.”

~~~  
As we walked up to the door of Eren's childhood home I started to get nervous. This women knew about me, wanted to meet me. Knew I was the one looking after her son before he died. It was possible that I would be a massive disappointment. Before I could simmer in these feelings more, Eren rung the doorbell and a short women with a side ponytail answered…

“Eren you said you'd be here at five, it's been 30 minutes since then what happened? Who's this? What on earth is going on?” Guess I made Eren late to visiting his own mother...oops.

Eren seemed a scared, I decided to speak for him.

“Hello! I'm Levi, it's great to meet you! Carla right?” I hoped that Eren had said my name before or this would not make any sense.

By the look in Carla's eyes, Eren had definitely said my name.

“Oh. My. God. Eren you finally found him! Aaa he's so cute, I could just eat him up!” Guess Eren got his bear hugs from his mother because here I was trapped in the cage of Carla's arms. Her voice softened. “Thank you for looking after him when I couldn't.”

“Mum, stop. Let Levi breathe.” As Eren said this Carla pulled back only to pull Eren into a similar hold.

“So I can't even hug my sons fiancée!?”

“I only met him again today!”

“Fine, boyfriend.” Defeated, Carla pulled back from her son and stepped backwards, inviting us in with her hands. “Your father isn't home yet but he will be soon, he's going to be very happy to meet Levi. After all you've been sulking about him your whole life.”

Eren sighed.

“Would you like a drink Levi? Tea? Coffee?” Even though the thought of a homemade cup of tea was tempting, I had already had some at the cafe.

“Just some water thanks.” I followed Eren and Carla to the kitchen where I was handed a glass of water. I took a seat next to Eren as Carla sat opposite us beginning to shoot questions at me.

“So Levi, where do you work?” Simple enough question to start.

“Local high school, teaching history.”

“How old are you?”

“26.”

“Why did you start dating Eren?” Now this question was more complicated.

“Well… at the time I actually fell for him when he’d just joined the Survey Corps, there was so much passion in his eyes, and I felt terrible because I was so much older than him. So I did what I could. Bottled it up. 5 years later and I just couldn't handle it anymore, kissed him and hated myself for it. Then he actually told me he wanted...a relationship and I was so confused as to why he'd want me..but he was smiling and I couldn't say no…” Oh fuck I'd started rambling. Carla didn't respond for a while and Eren was staring at me. I started to squirm in my seat, waiting for some form of escape.

Grisha was my saviour. Entering the house at just the right time.

“Ah, Eren great to see you home! Who's this?” The man placed his bag beside the counter before joining us by taking a seat next to Carla.

“EREN FINALLY FOUND HIM!” Carla basically screamed.

“No way…”

“Hi...I'm Levi…” The look of disbelief on the man's face scared me just slightly. But there was no time to study the situation as Grisha was out of his chair and hugging me within seconds. The hugs were definitely a theme within this family.

“Thank you Levi. You did so much for my boy when we couldn't help him.”

“I was just being selfish by keeping him to myself…” Everyone laughed and I had a feeling I was missing something.

“I wouldn't want anyone else.” Eren said this fondly ruffling my hair before kissing my forehead.

“Shall I make a start on dinner? Levi, are you okay to join us?” Eren and I nodded and Grisha offered to help Carla. As they got set up in the kitchen Eren dragged me to the living room couch, falling backwards over the armrest with me in his arms. A chuckle purer than gold filled the room and I could do nothing but melt. Maybe I was being selfish, but it was moments like this where I knew I couldn't care less.

Eren sighed. “I'm so happy.” His voice was filled with stars. My heart twinged.

“Me too.”


End file.
